Free Kraut’s brief lifespan, in graph form:
FK could use a bit more Other Stuff, so that’s what this is.
Plus, I admit I haven’t fully embraced the “Condiment Bar” moniker. While I respect the clever … ah, frak it. Why soft pedal the truth? We’re all adults here. I’ll just say it. I think “Condiment Bar” is lame. That’s right, you heard (read) me: LAME. Too cutesy. Too self-reverential. Too … I don’t know, something. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. Linguistic precision is not important right now. My gaze is fixed on a far greater calling: nothing less than a permanent return to the no nonsense austerity of “DLD”.
Look, I know this won’t be easy. I know the mob is set against me. I know my allies are few, and the road ahead is mined with peril. But what is life without principle, and how better to judge the character of a man than in the face of adversity?
Goddamnit, all I’ve got in this world are Jesus, DLD’s, and a team I hope wins ~83 games this year. And you … you’re trying to rip all three from my grasp in a twisted tsunami of clown pornography, condiment bars, and shitty baserunning. Well I have news for you. I won’t have it. I have drawn the proverbial fucking line in the proverbial fucking sand. This. Will. Not. Stand.
Below the fold:
Fact: Matt Holliday’s power numbers declined substantially from 2007 to 2008.
Fact: via Hit Tracker, 17 of the 25 home runs he hit last year were of the “lucky” or “just enough” variety (definitions here).
[Sigh of relief edit]: This is all WRONG
Conclusion: Dunno. I will say that I am slightly worried that Holliday, 2009 = Damon, 2001 (except without 102 wins to ease the pain).
PT is/was fond of pointing out that Dallas Braden’s 2007 and 2008 seasons were virtually identical, except that he was massively unlucky in the former. Similar walk rates, home run rates, ground ball rates, etc., just 55 extra points of BABIP in 2007.
2009, though?
Fewer strikouts than ever (that’s not the good news), fewer ground balls, more flyballs (no, haven’t reached the good news yet), BUT (good news imminent) fewer walks and fewer home runs allowed.
His K/BB/HR ratios have actually been on a steady downward trajectory since 2007:
So. More balls in play. Specifically, more balls in play in the air, but half as many of those leaving the ballpark. This seems to add up to a big, fat wad of “results will worsen soon”.
Since I prefer to shut such things out of my mind, I offer the following optimistic counter-hypothesis: New-fangled cutter + throwing fastball less often + improved ability to locate change/slider = less solid contact = totally sustainable = Dallas Braden, 2009 all star (groin permitting).
[Head slumped in shame edit]: And this is all PREMATURE
Entertaining addendum: Hollywood Oz on Braden, circa 2005.
I watched Stray Dog over the weekend, and was delighted to discover several minutes of post-WWII Japanese baseball footage therein:
.
(if you have nine minutes to spare, the clip’s commentary track is interesting)
andeux
Apricot
batgirl
Danny
oblique
devo
mk
dmoas
FreeSeatUpgrade
monkeyball
grover
Sharon
iglew
ptbnl
JediLeroy
Jennifer
Leopold Bloom
mikeA
MikeTheV
mjdittmer
nevermoor
ninathorsenkqed
Poppy
salb918
doctorK
sslinger
5aces
the dogfather
veganryan
whiteshoes40
xbhaskarx
FREE KRAUT! 
DLD! DLD! DLD!
Count me as one who never liked condiment bars, either.
Well 74mk, details about the historical Yeshua of Nazareth are sketchy at best and looking at the A’s at the moment does not inspire much confidence. Bascially what I’m trying to say here is that I’m with ya on the DLDs. Not being a krauthor and also generally easy-going I went along with the C
abBagebut if there is a choice I say DLD.There oughta be a poll.
Actually, in keeping with the
occasionallyanarchic nature of FK, I think people should just do what they feel.Lessons:
1. Lets make Razr a krauthor (If I’m a member, you know the club isn’t exclusive)
2. I’m surprised people like DLD so much. I do prefer this, but not as strongly as it seems some people prefer DLD.
I second that. Before you say conflict of interest, if the Treasury Secretary can get away with not paying his taxes, I’d say this is small change.
That’s it for me. I’m leaving on a high note.
As the joke going around conservative circles goes:
“How do you get a member of the liberal elite to pay their taxes? Nominate them for a cabinet position.”
If I ever get to do one of these, I’m calling it the Victory Cabbage DLD (and that’s copyrighted mind you).
Eat my shorts.
I’ll have it with everything, please.
The Simpsons is another show that impresses me (wit, intelligence, etc.), but never makes me laugh. I silently applaud the jokes, the whole time feeling like I ought to be laughing but unable to squeeze out so much as a strangled chuckle.
It’s becoming clear that I have some kind of congenital humor deficiency. Do they have pills for that?
Yes, but you need to anticipate humorous situations by a half-hour to an hour in order for the pills to work effectively.
Or you could be on them all the time man. That’s how I roll or swallow to be more accurate.
(maniacally laughs at own joke)
Yeah, but if you experience laughter lasting four hours or longer…
I saw that commercial! Isn’t it the one with the older clown throwing a pie through a swinging tire?
sounds hot.
Sounds reasonable. If I find myself a) suddenly removed from the Matrix, or b) laughing for more than four hours at a time, I will consult a physician.
Semi-non sequitur: Since you know 43.6 times more about baseball than I do (I did the math), and are a level-headed fellow to boot, please convince me that Matt Holliday’s batting line at year end will not be 270/330/400. Tell me that it is illogical to conclude anything based on a 16 game span, that warmer weather will do wonders for his slugging percentage, that he is an elite hitter going through a rough patch, simple as that.
It might help if you employed the same reassuring language as you would when explaining to your kid that he doesn’t need a night light anymore. Except with stats and stuff.
To date, Matt Holliday has been about -3 runs in 2009.
Since 2007, his run values, split by month, have been: 10.2, 6.5, 8.5, 7.2, 7.4, 18.3, 7.2, 8.2, 6.4, 15.5, 10.3, -1.8.
You can look at this two ways: 1) his start with the A’s is a catastrophe of unprecedented proportions that can only portend a disastrous season or 2) it’s just a blip.
I prefer the first explanation. YMMV.
The fact that 70% of Holliday’s homers last year barely made it over the fence has me in mild freakout mode. I’m like 40% convinced that bad luck, wind pattern shifts, and unexplainable karmic circumstances are destined to cap his 2009 HR total at 12.
If he leaves Arlingon still stuck on zero, I will begin ranting irrationally about how we need to trade him immediately for a OF prospect and a relief pitcher.
“Lucky” is a subset of “JE” IIRC. So 70% is more like 44% (see below).
Ah. Good.
As the CW goes, that was when it was good man, in the good old days, don’t you know? ;)
As far as pills go, I know a man…
Things I did this weekend:
1. Had a great time at a Ben Folds concert.
2. Barbecued up some corn and sweet italian sausage.
3. Took my son to the playground.
4. Went a good friend’s wedding and danced with my wife.
I’d say it was a good weekend.
Things I did this weekend:
1. Stared directly into the sun for three hours, because it needed doing.
2. Drank a half a cup of bleach every half hour for eight straight hours, then increased it to a cup every forty-five minutes for the remainder of the day.
3. Set loose eighteen gophers in my home, gave them a five minute head-start, hunted them by hand.
4. Killed a drifter, applied plaster of Paris to his corpse, made a living/dead statue out of him for the front yard.
Since it is probably to early for our west-coast brethren to ask, I figure its best to ask you LB – how long have you been staring into the sun and is this how you have scared the sun into hiding its spots? If you have, please stop immediately, we might need them.
I wish there was more round the clock kraut for us NRAFs on the other side. Well maybe its just me and my sock puppet holding the A’s flag aloft but still.
The Army is locked in fierce competition with the dumb guy from That 70’s Show:
I’m all for anyone willing to put Ashton Doucher down.
They should hunt him down with A-10 Warthogs.
Tanks but no tanks.
I think they should hunt him down with regular old warthogs.
** is going to hell. Somehow, this piece of shyte got 6 recs, all of them since last night.
I rec’d just so it would stay up there little longer and showcase the going to hell bit.
I like how you roll.
Why, thank you mam
And it wouldn’t have had any recs if someone hadn’t issued a “sure it’s getting comments, but no one is recommending it” line.
Not that you are wrong about the travel plans to hell…
Yep. I thought that was funny.
I just skimmed through that thread, having previously avoided it because obviously something like that isn’t going to turn out well. But seriously — I like a good meta-discussion as much as the next person (let’s talk about our community and how awesome/awful we are!), but not EVERY SINGLE DAY, which is what’s been happening at **. It’s getting on my nerves.
Es muy mal.
This thread, also purportedly a meta-discussion, is an interesting contrast.
Edit: I should have kept reading. What Sal said below.
All that arguing on ** reminded me of
(hope this works)
never mind
I have a theory.
My toddler son loves to organize things. He’s obsessive about it. I am too, and I suspect that the combination of toddler-analness + genetic hardcoding makes him unable to pass a pile of shoes without arranging them. As an adult, though, I try to realize that there is a time and place for this compulsion.
In nanotechnology, we call this kind of organziation “top-down.” But there’s another paradigm in nanotech called “bottom-up,” where you rely on natural processes, gently guided, to create system-wide organization.
The going-to-hellness at ** reminds ,e of toddlers imposing control over an inherently disorganized system. It’s top-down nanofabrication. Blogs work are more amenable to bottom-up self-assembly. It’s a mixed analogy, combining amateur child psyschology with a lazy porting of nanotechnology jargon. But f— it, I’m running with it. The DLD/condiment bar is bottom-up. It’s adults relying on self-control. It’s way more f—ing awesome.
But bottom up only works if the bottom isn’t composed of every idiot that reads Yahoo. Also, it helps if your photographers don’t run the show.
I find that bottoms-up works best for drinking and/or sodomy.
The Fixx is in.
Anyway, I hate ** meta-discussion, since FK isn’t, or shouldn’t be, in the business of putting them down or competing with them. But we also have to remember our past.
Ah, f— it, it’s like facebooking your high school crush and finding out she got fat and ended up marrying that loser boyfriend of hers anyway. (This almost happened to me, except she was still attractive and her loser boyfriend turned out to be pretty succesful.)
I googled my jr high-first high school crush, and the only thing I could find is a story of her getting arrested in a hotel in ID with a “boyfriend” and a large amount of weed.
Thank god Mrs. Aces came around…
I love this theory (theories?) and it makes a lot of sense.
I find a somewhat similar thing happens at the workplace. Every few years, some new head honcho comes in and thinks it would be great to instill a little more order. Now the area I work in is typically college educated, mature, and had to be internally promoted 2-3 times to get here-so while that does not guarantee anything, it seems to usually indicate that we know how to get our shit done, done on time, and done right.
But once the new guy starts trying to implement some rigid, super defined order (you will work this schedule, take a break at a certain time, report everything on a log, etc), everyone starts rebelling, and soon we start having a series of focus groups and spirit campaigns to “get back to the excellent service we always provided”.
I see that at least once a week over at the Cabbage-less country. Any chance someone has to start talking about the ever present issues they use it, and whatever is being discussed disappears in an avalanche of he said/she said.
Did I mention I love having a place to chat with adults?
Did I mention I love having a place to chat with adults?
Uh…
ok adults who talk about evil clowns, bad laughter/ED jokes, and cabbage. But where everyone can take a friggin joke or listen to an arguement and not start crying.
I was referring to the “adult chat” portion. :-)
That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about Sal. Sooner or later one of the clown porn/adult chat seekers will stay for the cabbage.
ugh-and I got two chances and still didn’t think it through.
Then I guess I should also appreciate that it does not cost $2.99 a minute.
Which reminds me, I have had this conversation with Mrs. Aces and neither of us can come up with the logic..I understand adult films and internet porn. I understand dirty magazines, heck I even can justify phone sex.
Why would you pay money to have someone send you sexy text messages?!?
I scanned and misread your last question as “Why would you pay money to have someone send you sexy hostages?!?”
We can buy sexy hostages here now?! I’ll take a dozen.
I wish to re-enact certain scenes from Benny Hill.
Patrick Stewart will rescue the sexy hostages.
Even dumber than the actual point of contention (Eveland versus Braden, OMG!) is the four-start context underlying the whole thing. Speaking of discussions not worth engaging in…
Small sample size?
You forgot to specifically mention the clown porn. We need to up the hits my good man.
I resent that accusation sir. I challenge you to a duel to defend my honor (hits you with glove)
Fine sir, I shall always defend your right to resent all accusations, and will remember to call you childish and foolhardy at all times.
But now that I have been slapped, I must return in kind-for ours is an honorable world (slaps you back with a big fish).
74mk:
whether this is a CB or a DLD, it’s awesome. Thanks!
+1
I’ll be playing the contrarian today.
Eh, it’s not all that. You could’ve done better.
Too much sun this weekend. I love it when the forecast is RAIN and then I get 70 and sunny at both games.
I’m fucking wrecked from the sun :curses:
I was at that game at Wrigley in 1994. I think one guy caught two of the home runs.
As the author of the title “Condiment Bar,” I regret that the title was misused. I regret the lack of context — and the enormous pressure and the enormous time pressure that I was under. And anyone would have regrets simply because of the notoriety.
But it was that bad apple andeux who took my purely theoretical framework and applied it in the field!
Deface it! Smash it! BURN IT TO THE GROUND AND SALT THE EARTH BELOW IT!!!
We could acquire it and sell matches for $10 each. Free kraut fundraiser to buy a wider site.
In other news, I just got an email from the Giaunts, discounting tix to Wednesday’s game against the Dodgers. No, thanks.
Times is tough all over, not just at Yankee Mausoleum.
DF, why you getting mail from the Giants?
Hookers and blow.
I’ll see your Giants mailer and raise you a Yankees tickets mailer. Jeez, you go take one tour of Yankee Stadium and all of a sudden they think you’re a fan.
I may have misread something in the mailer, but it looks like they have one of their “skyboxes” in a Rockefeller center highrise for corporate events. So you don’t even have to haul your lazy rich ass out to the Bronx, you can just sit in a box downtown and watch the game on a big screen!
Chavvy:
Doesn’t matter. I’ve talked myself into believing that Crosby/Hannahan will be excellent defensively and a passable platoon out of the 9 hole. Sprinkle in a few games from Nomar here and there, and that’s got “good enough” written all over it.
monkeyball, this is a locomotive headed straight for that 82-80 division title we always dreamed about. It’s barrelling down the tracks full steam ahead, and you can either get on board or get out of the way.
Woot Woot!
Has anyone heard from Thunderbutt? Sal, should I start a search party?
Don’t do this to me again. I almost had a heart attack last time.
We FK-invited him, but I don’t think we ever heard back.
I can’t even see the last AN comment he made, that’s how long ago it was. Then he told monkeyball to use his OLD email.
I’ll get back to you.
The last email I got from him was in February. And I just emailed his work, and I immediately got a message to use his personal address.
I’m too chicken to call him.
HE’S OKAY! JUST CALLED. LOL! I’m pretty sure I scared the hell out of him.
I won’t believe it until he posts. You’re too much of a chicken.
I told him about FK, so I hope he visits.
I think his words were, “How did you get this number?”
::whistles innocently::
I sold you out. It was almost the first thing out of my mouth.
oh, for…oh jesus. thanks.
Then he gave me your number. Hehe.
{snerk}
I wasn’t SCARED. Surely, “taken aback” at the very most.
Welcome!
You look familiar. Aren’t you shopping for a TV?
We’ve missed you! Welcome!
I have been hiding.
I’m happy to find free kraut. Who wouldn’t be? Thank you.
OK, 74mk, here’s a good-faith negotiating offer: we can retire “CB” if we change the right-sidebar “Blogroll” to Jadeite Cabbage Souvenir Bookmarks.
Deal.
This reeks of backroom dealing! I call foul! Obviously, you two are on some sort of power grab and feel that’s it’s okay to circumvent due process!
…sorry…
forgot where I was for a minute.
You’ll never get any “backroom dealing” acting like that …
In former soviet union, the backroom…
A great new epithet to toss at sabermetric sporks: a nobody–a pocket-protector-wearing Joe Molecule
Re: Holliday’s lucky HR
In general, about 25% of homers are of the “Just Enough” variety. Holliday hit 11 JE last year, so JEs were proportionally a much higher portion of his overall total, 44%.
However, among hitters with 20 or more homers, the standard deviation in JE% is about 10%. It’s hard to know how much, if any, of that 44% number number is noise.
And “just enough” in Colorado is “not quite enough” pretty much everywhere else, right?
Remember, they’ve been using the humidor for a few years now so Coors numbers aren’t always as distorted as we think of based on the early years. That said, I’d still be interested in seeing if there is JE data on home-away splits. Sal?
unknown
Still, Colorado versus the Coliseum.
Wait, there’s no game tonight? What’s keeping my motivated to get through the day?
Beer and sex?
“Have the Cubs developed a pantywaist inferiority complex?”
I’ve been thinking of making some FK tshirts. Anyone interested in working on a design with me? No money being made-type thing.
Free
Mumia!Kraut!I AM SPARTA-KRAUT!
Free Kraut:
We’re all about c’est chic.
Free Kraut:
Cause Sometimes Onions and Peppers Just Aren’t enough
Free Kraut:
We Gave Your Mom an Invite.
Free Kraut:
It’s Good To Have Friends When Looking at Clown Porn.
Free Kraut:
For When Yahoo! Jacks your Site.
Free Kraut:
Available at the Coliseum Saags stand
Free Kraut:
You can fling it without spreading disease
Free Kraut:
Shhh. Don’t tell **.
Free Kraut:
In former Soviet Union, cabbage pickles you!
Free Kraut:
Someday we’ll have a decent website. (FIRE NEVERMOOR NOW!!!)
Free Kraut:
The Condiment Bar of DLDs.
I like your ideas better.
I especially like Shh, don’t tell **.
Les FreeK, C’est Chic!
At first I thought this thread was called “I’m bad at titties.”
Pitching stats=very confusing. I would like to (but probably will not) pull together some of the best stuff about how to evaluate pitching for interested readers to read. Lots of confused stat folk over in that ** thread saying a variety of dubious things… I’ve read a ton about pitching stats in the past year or two and it’s a more-you-learn-less-you-know type of thing for me.
Oh please. That’s not confusion, that’s a fatal character flaw.
Wait. Pitching stats themselves are a fatal character flaw?
Fixed. Thanks in advance.
I’m really interested. Especially as I’m (I assume) a “confused stat folk.”
I tried to “+1” this:
I like that, only one +1 per thread per person.
Doug Glanville is a treat.
That was awesome.
Now I have to go read the rest of his articles that I missed…
Good news, mikeA! MLB on FOX is now twittering!
One of my worst moments was when I saw a headline that said “Buck takes job with HBO” and then clicked on the article which said at the bottom that he was staying on as “lead mlb broadcaster” at fox.
Unrelated: I like Robo. He looks a little sleazy, like he would be good at swindling old folks out of their fixed incomes, and I love a good swindle. I also like his nickname.
Warning to others: clicking on that link is the equivalent of staring straight into the Angel Stadium scoreboard when they turn on all their absurd flashing lights.
I like Robo too, for his unrelenting newsbreaking. But his analysis is utterly unreadable. He tries to incorporate the latest research, but it’s clear that just doesn’t understand it very well.
eh, given that his analysis is constrained by being a sentence long and being written for fox, it’s not too bad.
I’m shocked that Big Urb isn’t on twitter. or is he?…
While I have vowed to stay away from the world of twittering, the idea of settin up a fake Big Urb tweet is almost too tempting.
Sign me up for that project.
Please do that immediately.
No Goodman Spoiled Bastard up yet … let’s get the BBs2e? (7?) talk going.
1. “Better call Saul”
2. DJ Qualls as a narc: genius
3. The triple fakeout you knew was coming: even more genius
4. Casting Bob Odenkirk in a (putative, though funnier and funnier each ep) non-comedy: high risk, seeming low reward, but … man. Awesome.
5. Random wrong bald guy: fucking hilarious
ahhh; can’t read. tv out all weekend.
dammit, and i forgot:
6. “Saul”‘s office? Best. Set design. Ever
Badger:
-I really like him, I even enjoy the Right Guard commercial.
-Who didn’t see that coming (one of the footsoldiers had to fuck it up and the other two don’t have names).
-I’m glad he’s not dead.
Odenkirk was hilarious, he had so many great lines. I need to watch it again…
I suspect Odenkirk wrote a lot of his own lines.
Uh oh…
The Wire? Sheeeeeeeeeit.
interesting article; lots of great sentences:
Any implications for the Free Kraut tailgate party are probably best left unposted (call me!).
A’s to face lots of bad pitchers
That’s a pretty picture.
Seattle rainout probably means Bedard swapped for jakabakaskasabs.
never mind; double header.
Ping pong set to “sweep the nation” (or at least “reach beer drinkers at the grass-roots level”):
A good Criterion double feature: Stray Dog and La Haine, a stolen police gun from both sides of the law.
Or maybe Stray Dog, Pickup on South Street (great cover art), and Pickpocket (I have not seen it).
Also: 25 Illustrations Inspired By Film
TIME: The World’s Most Influential Person Is…
Online poll?
I have never visited that site.
I have never even heard of moot or this 4chan.org
I just recently became dimly aware of 4chan. IIRC, I was being told how lame it was.
So, obviously, it can’t be all that influential and definitely not run by The Most Influential Person in the World (in Jeremy Clarkson voice).
This is why online polls are terrible.
and on that bombshell…
I heard about that site from zonis mentioning it. I went there once, and the best way to describe it is that it’s the type of thing zonis would like.
Unbelievable that they’re actually running with it.
Time needs to learn to internets.
Barry Zito has fornicating gingerbread swine for you.
Problematic.
Can Mexican swine flu be transmitted that way?
Brian Wilson looks like he belongs on that “hot chicks with douchebags” blog.
Edit: actually, so does Zito. New website, douchebags with doubchebags.
Brian Wilson defends character, quits Twitter
Updating a file photo?
Jesus, the recession is so bad the US government can’t afford Photoshop.
And yet they have enough to pay for the jet fuel to do this.
They do take some nice pics, but next time they should just utilize FARK’s Photoshop skills.
Who will grace the Free Kraut urinal walls? rev halofan? Dustin Pedroia? Jack Dorsey?
Sodoma?
Prospect Retro: Jack Cust
Is this thing on – check, one, two, three? hello? anybody here?