[Update]: Sigh. Manny suspended for PEDs. Commence firestorm.
Today’s clash of AL West titans is set for 12:35, so I guess this can serve as a combination DLD, game thread, and postgame woe-fest orgy of jubilation.
Expert analysis (the kind you just don’t get at those mainstream blogs): Brandon McCarthy gives up lots of home runs. Unfortunately, the A’s do not hit home runs.
If you grow weary of throwing errors and strikeouts and Vince Cotroneo musing about how the team really needs someone to “step up and provide a spark”, go decipher some anagrams.
Wordle:
Labrador:
Labrador update:
Labrador update 2:
Labrador update 3:
.jpg)
Bygone days:
andeux
Apricot
batgirl
Danny
oblique
devo
mk
dmoas
FreeSeatUpgrade
monkeyball
grover
Sharon
iglew
ptbnl
JediLeroy
Jennifer
Leopold Bloom
mikeA
MikeTheV
mjdittmer
nevermoor
ninathorsenkqed
Poppy
salb918
doctorK
sslinger
5aces
the dogfather
veganryan
whiteshoes40
xbhaskarx
FREE KRAUT! 
You know that “Obama-Hope” blue-red poster? Has someone made a parody with a picture of Pope Benedict with the caption “Pope”?
Also, is that question mark in the right place?
Also, Lew Wolff looks just like the Pope.
No, the Pope looks a little like Lew Wolff. With more modern clothing.
The jacket indicates that it’s for members only.
I dad used to have a MO jacket in the closet. I found it and started wearing it to high school every day. I was the coolest kid on campus.
Yes, it’s in the right place… if you’re a dirty limey.
I’d like to see one with Tommy Chong and the caption “Dope”.
Except the pope didn’t kill Jeebus.
Lost in the tide of ballpark “news” in the last 48 hours…Oakland planning groupie (acolyte? guru? gadfly?) Chris Kidd wrote up a plan for a new A’s park in Jingletown, a not-much-previously-suggested area along the Oakland side of the estuary across from Alameda, near the Fruitvale bridge.
Chris makes some excellent points, and I like this idea, for two big reasons. First, as Chris notes, there is already a Specific Area Plan process underway there, which makes managing the zoning and enviro processes much, much easier. And second, which Chris does not so much mention, this is a site which could really gather unified Oakland political support fast. It’s in Ignacio’s district, and love him or hate him, having DLF on board brings political juice to bear. This could in turn make it appealing for Mayor-to-be-Perata, who has history not only in Oakland but in Alameda, and as such he could be critical in handling the island’s issues which would arise.
The rest of Oakland’s structure–other CMs, Russo, and even the lame-duck-since-2007 incumbent Mayor, if you think he matters–would be quick to climb on board with a plan supported by Ignacio and Perata with a pre-existing blueprint for clearing the planning hurdles. This might not be my first choice for a park in Oakland (Broadway Auto Row my pipe dream, current Coli parking lot my accessible fave), but it would instantly become the most feasible plan in town, and that’s saying a lot.
As I queried citypl**ner yesterday — what’s to motivate the current landowner to sell, and to sell at a “reasonable” price?
I don’t know specifically, but guesses and Google suggest:
1. The land is more valuable as a ballpark than as an industrial plant.
2. Owens-Brockway recently got a State recycling grant to help build a new glass plant in Tracy.
3. The current plant has long-running emissions issues with BAAQMD.
4. The parent company has been taking on debt to fund acquisitions
Interesting. Well, those all certainly do motivate them to sell — but 1 (+ perhaps 4) would seem to spell a high asking price.
Thanks, FSU. I hadn’t realized that Ownes Brockway was under such straits. Well, actually I was too lazy to look(we’ll just let that one slide…).
More reason Owens Brockway might be induced to sell:
-the specific plan is going to rezone the area drastically away from heavy industry. There will probably be greentech/biotech industry in the future, but heavy, polluting industries will be shuttled out for public health reasons for the increased residential density expected to be part of the specific plan.
-the specific plan will also give the city and its agencies some bite to their bark when it comes to non-conforming uses within the specific plan. They can make Owens-Brockway’s life dificult.
-the city could offer tax exemptions/incentives to Owens-Brockway to move their operation somewhere more suitable to the public health and more suitable to their operations (either West Oakland or the East Oakland Industrial Corridor)
-In conjunction with tax incentives, the city could relocate Owens-Brockway to the Oakland Army Base, which would be free land since the city currently owns it.
I could definitely see some Alameda NIMBY backlash, but combining local and regional political support along with removal of a major polluter from Alameda’s doorstep would do a lot to tamp that down.
I’m totally a groupie, BTW.
VivaBan Viagra!Also, turn your fucking TV off, or don’t let you kid watch Matlock.
Re: Manny.
Shit, meet fan.
The thing that’s going to make me the most unhappy about this situation will be the gloating by Red Sox fans.
Fuck ’em; if they want to gloat about being Manny being caught with ‘roids, then they should have their WS stripped.
I’m unhappy the Gyaunts didn’t sign him.
That would have been hylarious.
Monkey, how long have you been talking about your theory of EC and PEDs?
Hmm … I’d guess since ’05? ’06? I can’t remember the first time I broached it — I do recall making an intentionally vague statement in response to Sal at ** sometime 05/06-ish.
Yeah, I do too.
Tell me about it. I was at last night’s Dodger game. Twice he came up with the bases loaded and the fans were chanting his name–it’s sort of a Rocky chant. And the second time, he came through with a double.
I think the fans here will cheer for him again (I probably will), although it depends a little on how he handles the press conference. And whether he can hit worth a damn when he gets back.
Maybe a good development to come out of this: it adds to the absurdity of a couple of commonly-held positions: first, that steroids are beneath contempt and anybody who touched them should be locked out of the Hall of Fame forever; and second, that performance-enhancing drugs don’t improve performance that much. And yes, I think both positions can be called absurd consistently.
From what I can tell from the articles and Manny’s statement, I don’t think it was ‘roids. Maybe HGH — but I think Ritalin/Adderall is much more likely reading in between the lines.
They’re testing for Ritalin/Adderall?
Don’t most players just cajole a friendly and/or indifferent doctor into diagnosing them with ADHD? Is it still illegal if it’s prescribed?
They’re testing for speed.
My understanding (corrections, please!) is that if you’re up-front with your “diagnosis” of ADD pre-testing and get an exemption, you’re in the clear. Manny being Manny, I can see him not following appropriate channels.
And the ironic thing is, if there is one person in MLB that I would assume has ADD, it would be Manny.
I dunno. Manny can be Manny all he wants, but I don’t see Boras messing something like that up. Especially as Boras is a licensed pharmacist so he probably actually gave Manny whatever he took.
I agree re Boras — but I also think that there’s only so much control Boras can exert over the totality of a player’s life, especially one as flakey as Manny.
Yes, yes, and no. There have been a couple of articles about the absurd number of “therapeutic use” exemption. I linked to one here.
Have you read this?
Yeah. I found that article a little odd. First of all because the author characterizes all these drugs as “cognitive enhancers” when AFAICT at least some of them are basically good old-fashioned speed.
And second, I found this paragraph unconvincing:
Drug decriminalization may be a good idea, I don’t think that “rich people are going to do it anyway” is ever a good argument against a law.
Agreed.
The aspect I found interesting was that people are using these drugs not to hyper-achieve, but simply to keep pace. Stimulants – for many students and white collar workers, anyway – are just another mechanism for coping with an always-on, continuous partial attention mode of living that renders us forever snowed under by tasks and information.
Also pernicious is our impulse to view every imperfection (be it shyness at parties or an inability to focus when tired or a modestly sized penis) as a malady to be cured.
I had a friend in College who spent six months awake for 72 hours then asleep for 24 because of that stuff.
It really isn’t harmless.
I thought it took more than one positive test for speed to get a suspension that long. I’ve kind of lost track of the rules though.
You could be right. I don’t know.
But, heck — maybe it’s Manny’s 2nd/3rd/whatev + test for speed?
No, since the last go-round with Congress, first suspension’s 50 games. They took McCain seriously, I think.
So he says it was a medication prescribed by a doctor for a “personal medical issue.” I really hope it turns out to be marijuana.
But on the bright side, he can now offer home delivery during the crucial summer season for his side business.
I think if it were marijuana, it’d be termed a “drug of abuse,” not a PED. Not certain, but I think they’ve been separated out from one another.
not anabolic steroid, not stimulant, not “drug of abuse”
Gotta be lice meds.
That link seems to insinuate HGH, especially with the Jordan Schafer reference?
Wait a minute. Seriously, if it were Adderall or Ritalin, wouldn’t Boras be going through the roof right now? It would seem to me that he’s call a press conference almost simultaneously with MLB and say this is bullshit, my client’s got an inhaler or has ADD, and the league is punishing him. Here are the results. Here’s the doctor that prescribed it, here are 17 certifying that he did not take steroids.
Not if Boras were on Xanax.
Good point.
I wonder what he tested positive for…
HPV vaccine
1. I kind of like Manny. Though he is disgusting to look at, what with that enormous wad of charcoal-colored glop he’s always chewing.
2. Bonds aside, Manny is easily the best hitter I’ve ever watched on a semi-regular basis.
Top hitters in our lifetimes (assuming most of us are in our 20s/30s/40s, so since ~1970): Bonds, Manny, Pujols, A-Rod, Thomas …
Who rounds out the top 10?
1. I love Manny. Always have, always will.
2. Ditto that.
More top 10 candidates: Rickey, Brett, Schmidt, Alomar, Belle, Sheffield …
McGwire. Thome.
I love Thome more than Manny.
never liked Thome. Manny’s kinda tough not to like, unless you just despised him for being a Red…um…Sock?
A few to think about…Winfield, Tony Gwynn, Kirby Puckett, Junior pre-injuries, Rod Carew…Vlad?
Never liked Thome? What’s wrong with you?
I just don’t appreciate his style of singing. It’s annoying and twangy.
I always thought that Rickey was best baseball player I ever saw play. though even I must admit Bonds was incredible. The last time I saw him, it was in Oakland, I had just leaned over to my brother and said “Barry doesn’t look so good today,” literally as the “y” was leaving my mouth, he crushed it to right–one of those line drive shots that seems like it would go into the side of the hills were Mt. Davis not there.
I find Manny pretty easy not to like.
Because he was a…uh…Sock?
Griffey. Sosa.
Goodman on BB s2e9
“note perfect”
Pitchers are sissies now
I used to call the old man funny names. “Iron Butt.” “Boner.” Once I even called him … “asshole.” But there was always respect. I always knew where the line was drawn. And you just stepped over it, buddy-boy. You’ve insulted me. And you’ve insulted this company with that bastard creation of yours.
Seriously, I don’t understand much of what is being said about the Manny suspension. Maybe I should wait an hour to see what else is uncovered.
head explodes
You’ve got the right idea.
In the last hour, I’ve heard that they were/weren’t PEDs and that he did/didn’t test positive.
This from Ratto:
Beyond that, we still know far too little either to anyone to comfortably condemn or exonerate Ramirez. ESPN’s early stance that Ramirez as a PED user is inconceivable cannot hold factually, because there are too few facts. Conversely, nobody can say, “Aha! Another cheater!” for the same reason.
Not that that will stop many folks, mind you. We are not only vengeful, but we are also world-class conclusion-jumpers.
I’m going to charter a plane and dump asterisks over the city of Boston.*
*Comment only intended as expressing hatred of Sox.
I like this. Maybe instead of putting asterisks in the record books, they should put Pozterisks in there instead, and fill the record book with anecdotes.
Also, apropos of nothing, a question for LB: Should I be interested in David Foster Wallace? All I know about him is that he killed himself–that’s kind of interesting.
DFW, we hardly knew ye!
(and MB’s very glad about that)
DFW is fuckin’ brilliant. Start light with the essays in A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again before tackling to Infinite Jest.
exactly–A Supposedly fun Thing…
is a great read.
Three non-fiction pieces to start with:
Federer as Religious Experience
Host
Consider the Lobster
Monkey would say no. I own Infinite Jest. I like tangential writing. If tangential writing annoys you or it’s just not your thing, I’d advise to steer clear. He was not what you’d call focused. Or, if you strongly disagree with that, his planned unfocusedness was very successful.
I prefer Klosterman to either DFW or Dave Eggers, but I find both of them interesting enough to have read.
Ultimately, if we’re talking “the canon” (which is a vile, disgusting, but ultimately real aspect of literature), I’m afraid he’s more Salieri than Wolfgang. He’s also victim of writing a book so cumbersome as to appeal to a certain group of people who like to read things in order to appear hip. Pompous fucking windbags.
So, have any of you read Finnegans Wake, then?
I thought the first half of “Heartbreaking…” was good and it really dropped off afterwards. I was given “Velocity” as a gift and couldn’t bring myself to finish it.
Like I said, interesting. I’m not sure I’m really interested in delving further with either. But I have heard real good things (including those above) about DFW’s shorter works. Maybe controlling the space would help with that fucker.
Well, I’m glad you main the reference, since though it flew way over my head at first, it produced all the recommendations above, yours included.
I like tangential stuff. I think that’s one of the things I liked about Gary Radnich when I was in the Bay Area to listen to him–his willingness to go off on tangents. FSU actually turned me on to Klosterman a couple years ago. I also prefer him to Eggers.
As for cumbersome books, my claim to being a PFW is having read the story of the day you met Daedalus. But FW? No, the air is too rare; I dare not try that summit.
Hey Ulysses ain’t no joke.
But FW is. It’s eighteen years in the making, I’m living on your dime, I’ll revise and revise and revise and revise again, until what I’m saying is either indecipherable or profound or maybe both. But I will insure my immortality in this strange way, even though I JUST FUCKING WROTE THE SEMINAL 20th CENTURY TEXT.
He was basically long in making his Jackie Brown. And he died before he got to Kill Bill. And screw you, Monkey, I like them. Both of them.
You’ve kind of got to like them, especially if you’ve taken the time to read them. I didn’t know Joyce made mb’s long list of “meh”, but I’m surprised to hear it, since Joyce is, as you note above, someone who likes lots of allusions and oblique references; now that I mention it, mb kind of reminds me of him.
Two other things:
1) Joyce is attacked as a snob who wrote for elitists and could only be appreciated by upper-crust intellectuals–only by the people who wanted to appreciate him in this manner and failed to do so. That group of offended tried-to-enjoy-Joyce-but-couldn’t people has got to be a pretty tiny percentage of society as a whole, a tiny enough percentage that they’re probably intellectual snobs in their own right. I mean, they all probably learned to enjoy Shakespeare in high school or college on their way to trying Joyce, and that in and of itself makes them intellectual snobs in the eyes of a much larger percentage of society–America’s nonreading majority.
2) What do you mean when you say “the canon”? What is vile and disgusting about it?
Sounds like a great idea. Let me donate to the cause:
*****************************************************
Annals of poor copyediting:
“Yeah, we caught him having sex with a woman on the sidewalk last month, and now with another one.”
It’s a small, but well-documented fetish: sidewalk fucking.
He’s ruined his career behind it.
Random memory: I recall being sort of scandalized as a 6 or 7 year old when Canseco got arrested for speeding. Now I wonder what he took that enabled him to break 100 mph.
Free Kraut tagline: Searching for Value in Ludicrous Ideas
The illustrated “inventions” behind the link are simultaneously insane and fantastic. A sampling:
I like the hide-a-shower idea.
Those little prefab houses–the ones made out of storage containers and the like, always strike something in me…Buddhist longings for redwood NorCal living and simplicity.
I loved The Fifth Element for Bruce Willis’s apartment.
Landfill Surprise?!
Mush like the Madeline, the very words bring back a flood of memories. Mom, in the kitchen, cooking up new, glorious, mysterious batch of Landfill Surprise, her specialty. Was it meat and if so, what kind of meat?
just for mikeA
Labrador?
http://twitpic.com/3js8o
You will never win this duel.
1, 2
I could get a winning horse in this race if I wasn’t so technologically backward.
Watch me.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Uncle.
#9 is awesome.
Post updated to reflect your victory.
those are some great photos. OK, here goes nothing. I hope this works…
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
shoot it didn’t work. I think it’s working now. Looking at your posts under edit was really helpful.You looked at my
postasspostlabrador under edit? I feel violated.And photos 2 and 3 are adorable.
#3 is hilarious and adorable and yet, so sad.
Swine flu! Steroids! Thesis! Pakistan!
Crosby! Hannahan! Holliday! Blisters! Calves!
alcohol! tobacco! firearms!
Clowns! Porn!
Russell’s twisted sense of sexuality!Clown Porn!A future-of-newspapers observation: the LA Times is being credited for breaking this story, but there is no place on the story-page for reader-feedback, nor can that be found on the LA Times sports section main page.
I figured the Chronicle was behind-the-times in having just started its columnists doing sports blogs over the last few months, but apparently the Times is even further behind. Or is that a newsroom philosophy choice–choosing to keep one’s writers out of the fray, so they at least have to click a few links to find the place where they see their own articles smeared by readers?
heh heh heh
Apparently it was a different kind of “performance enhancer”
I guess his bat’s been slow through the zone lately.
He’s a modern-day Fred Merkle.
Jason Whitlock, Craig Calcaterra, Steve Goldman, Danny Knobler, and now Murray Chass have all taken Selena Roberts to task on her A-Rod book
{cough}Judy Miller{cough}
Grey Ladies with rusty hulls shouldn’t throw torpedos.
Maybe he’s not familiar with NYT’s standards either…
I’d agree she’s no top flight reporter.
We be top-flight, Craig.
Jose Canseco wins again.
Please note: as soon as we switch over to FK.com, you will all be receiving your subscription invoices
Speaking of, did you do your part?
Nyet. Tonight.
Let me know if you have any problems.
You two speak in code.
I call shenanigans!
I think that if you’re patient I’ll soon get a LB-patented “i love you” post.
k.
{bites lip in an-tiss-a-PAY-shun}
No problems, but … the sparrow has not entered the boathouse. Repeat, the sparrow has not entered the boathouse.
Reminder: I am the quintessential professional! decorum and common sense are my bylaws!
Did he just say Ben Vereen sang the National Anthem?
Christ, what an Aesop
Victory Cabbage
w00t(en)!
DC Cabbage.
David Simon … (wait for it): The Wire of media critics
Jane Hamsher, The Shield of the liberal blogosphere.
Oh good, it’s catching on.
The Shield of the [___]: The Wire of FK memes
That I can’t disagree with. Well played.